Losing Uncle Teddy and Aunt Mary: A Reflection on Family, Love, and Healing Generational Trauma
Have you noticed how family patterns quietly shape the way you love, grieve, and show up in life?
This past summer, grief came in waves. First my Uncle Teddy passed in July, then just weeks later, my Aunt Mary in August. With my mother 87 now, the last living sibling of nine, I’ve reflected deeply on generational shifts, treasured memories, and how generational trauma and resilience shapes us across generations.
In this blog, I share what loss taught me about family legacy, lineage healing, and how grief can open doors to gratitude, self-discovery, and breaking generational cycles.
A photo of of my mother’s family: Back to Front: Laila, Kareemeh, Charlie, Wadia, Teddy, Dad, Amal, Mary, Janaf (my mom), Mom. Akram, the ninth sibling, had passed before this photo was taken.
Honoring Generational Shifts: Remembering Uncle Teddy and Aunt Mary
On July 9, my Uncle Teddy passed at 82, and on August 25, the night before my birthday, my Aunt Mary passed at 88.
Both lived long, faith-filled lives, yet losing the last of my uncles and aunts on my mother’s side was deeply emotional. It reminded me how ancestral patterns, family stories, and inherited wounds shape our lives.
My memories with them:
Uncle Teddy brought laughter, jokes, kindness, and playfulness to every room.
Aunt Mary carried a calm, wise presence that made you feel truly seen.
Just weeks before her passing, I spent four sacred days with Aunt Mary’s side, sharing quiet moments, laughter, and stories. Those last days remain a gift I hold close.
Their absence leaves my mother as the last living sibling, an entire generation nearly gone.
This loss highlights how grief, legacy, and generational healing deepen when we normalize conversations about love, loss, and generational legacy.
For readers exploring inherited family wounds, You Swore You’d Never Be Like Your Parents discusses how parental patterns unconsciously repeat, and the first steps toward healing them.
Left Photo: Aunt Mary, Janaf (my mom), and Uncle Teddy. Right Photo: Aunt Mary and Uncle Teddy.
The Passing of a Generation and the Weight of Legacy
As the summer unfolded, I felt the weight of an entire generation shifting.
With my mother now the last of nine siblings, I witnessed not just the loss of beloved family members but that an era of our family story is nearing its close.
For decades, my mother spoke with her parents, brothers and sisters multiple times a week, bridging the miles between coasts. Now those moments are cherished memories.
Her faith reminds her that when God calls, it is your time. But even faith cannot erase the loneliness of being the last one left. Watching her grieve stirred reflection in me about ancestral healing, family patterns, and the responsibility of breaking generational cycles.
Insights from The Cycle Ends With You offers strategies for reframing family stories and choosing new patterns for future generations.
Left to Right: My Aunt Mary, Aunt Laila, Aunt Wadia, Janaf (my mom), Aunt Kareemeh
Honoring a Generation: The Nine Siblings
Each sibling left a distinct mark, contributing to a legacy of resilience, love, belonging, and a strong family bond.
The Nine Siblings (Oldest to Youngest)
Laila – Peaceful and grounding.
Charlie – Musical, health junkie, deeply connected to his homeland, Palestine.
Mary – Wise, peaceful, nurturing, steady.
Janaf (my mom) – Loving, playful, generous.
Wadia – Joyful, kind, and giving.
Teddy – Playful and a savvy businessman.
Kareemeh – Bold, expressive, fun, the “cool aunt.”
Akram – Brilliant, gone too soon at 29, leaving a budding legacy at Johns Hopkins and NASA.
Amal – Carefree, joyful, affectionate.
Two other siblings passed in infancy but remain part of our sacred family history.
Together, my aunts and uncles formed a web of love, protection, and resilience.
They modeled what it means to support each other, stay connected, and carry love forward.
The essay collection Nine Brilliant Student Essays on Honoring Your Roots shows how reflecting on heritage, sacrifice, and family dynamics can illuminate paths to healing.
Left: My Aunt Mary, her husband Uncle Shafic, and my son, Hunter, sneaking behind them.
Upper Right: My mom with her sister, Aunt Mary (their last visit together).
Lower Right: Three Generations: Me, my mom, and my son, Hunter.
Four Core Reflections of Family Patterns and Healing
1. Honoring Family and Generational Patterns
The loss of my aunts and uncles illuminated how generational trauma and resilience weave through families. Each generation passes down stories, strengths, and sometimes wounds.
Reflection for You: What family or ancestral patterns do you notice repeating in your life?
Consider listening to my podcast episode Un-Patterning the Patterns: A Breakdown for tools on recognizing and breaking generational cycles.
2. The Influence of Ancestral Healing on Parental Relationships
Watching my mother grieve reminded me how lineage healing shapes parental relationships and mother-daughter dynamics.
What one generation models—grief, love, faith, or silence—becomes the template for the next.
Reflection for You: How have your parents, aunts, or uncles shaped the way you give and receive love?
My podcast episode, Healing the Mother-Daughter Wound, shares tools for deepening women’s emotional healing.
Jim Jacobs’ article Honoring Our Heritage and Sacrifice emphasizes honoring ancestral sacrifices, a cornerstone of ancestral healing for women.
3. Finding Healing Through Gratitude and Reflection
Grieving Aunt Mary and Uncle Teddy deepened my appreciation for my lineage’s traditions and sacrifices. Reflection opens space for inner child healing, self-discovery, and emotional release.
Reflection for You: What gifts from your family legacy are you most grateful for?
4. Carrying Forward Love and Legacy
Even in loss, love continues. Choosing which family patterns to releasea nd which legacies to carry forward is essential to breaking generational cycles in parenting.
Reflection for You: Which family stories, or mother-daughter relationships are you ready to transform?
Photo: Me with Aunt Mary. I lived with her one summer when I was in college.
Aunt Mary’s Story: Rooted in Palestine, Raised on Love
To honor Aunt Mary, I want to share her voice. In two podcast episodes, she spoke about her childhood in Ramallah, Palestine, the food the grew, how they were raised and how love sustained their family.
My mother and her nine siblings were born and raised in Ramallah, Palestine, before migrating to the U.S. in the 1940s and 1950s. That journey, from village life to a new country, carried opportunity, hardship, pain, and unspoken loss, shaping the legacy we still feel today.
🎧 Listen to her stories here:
Paradise in Palestine with Auntie Mary - sharing food, love, and family traditions from her childhood.
We Were Raised on Love with Auntie Mary - includes my mother’s arranged marriage at 17.
These conversations show how cultural identity, food, and storytelling are pathways to healing, ancestral connection, and resilience.
Aunt Mary also shares painful truths about her sister’s cultural obligations, including my mother’s forced marriage. This shaped my mother’s life path and the invisible weight she carried, showing how generational trauma ripples forward.
Left to Right: Aunt Wadia, Aunt Kareemeh, and Janaf (my mom) at my 2005 wedding in Seattle, WA.
How to Heal Generational Trauma as a Woman
Healing is not just about understanding past—it’s about rewriting the future.
For women, it begins with:
Healing the mother wound through self-discovery
Breaking generational cycles for you and future generations
Exploring ancestral healing and cultural patterns
Overcoming mother-daughter wounds with compassion
Committing to women’s emotional healing through reflection, coaching, and support
“When we heal, we transform the legacy we pass on to the next generation.”
Photo: My son, Hunter, my Aunt Mary, and me at my cousin, Debbie’s Investiture in Baltimore, Maryland.
Closing Reflection
Grief is never only about loss, it’s also about legacy.
Each passing reminds us that family patterns, ancestral stories, and generational ties invite us to grow, heal, and intentionally choose what we carry forward.
Your Turn: Which family patterns have shaped your life? Which legacies are you ready to embrace—or transform?
Reflecting on these questions is the first step toward healing generational trauma, breaking cycles, and shaping the family story you want to pass on.
Ready to Begin Your Healing Journey?
If you’re navigating, or curious about, generational trauma, mother wounds, or the passing of a generation in your family and its legacy, book a free Clarity Call and let’s talk. Every journey toward self-discovery, emotional healing, and breaking generational cycles, begins with a single step, and that step can start today.
During Our Call Together
Explore your family patterns and generational dynamics
Map your first steps toward self-discovery, emotional healing, and carrying forward a legacy you’re proud of
You’ll leave with clarity, a lighter heart, and actional guidance to transform your family patterns and embrace the life you want.
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Heidi Carlson
Heidi Carlson Coaching
Generational Trauma & Mother Wound Coach
Website: www.heidicarlsoncoaching.com
Email: heidi@heidicarlsoncoaching.com
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