Losing Uncle Teddy and Aunt Mary: A Reflection on Family, Love, and Healing Generational Trauma
Have you ever noticed how family patterns quietly shape the way you love, grieve, and show up in life?
This past summer, grief arrived in waves. First my Uncle Teddy passed in July, then just weeks later my Aunt Mary in August. With my mother—at 87—now the last living sibling of nine, I’ve been reflecting deeply on family shifts, grief, and the ways generational trauma and resilience shape us across time.
In this blog, I share what loss has taught me about family legacy, lineage healing, and how grief can open doors to gratitude, self-discovery, and breaking generational cycles.
Honoring Generational Shifts: Remembering Uncle Teddy and Aunt Mary
On July 9, my Uncle Teddy passed away at 82 years old. On August 25—the night before my birthday—my Aunt Mary passed away at 88.
Both lived long, faith-filled lives, yet losing the last of my uncles and aunts on my mother’s side was deeply emotional. It reminded me of how ancestral patterns, family stories, and inherited wounds shape our lives.
My memories with them:
Uncle Teddy brought laughter, jokes, and playfulness to every room.
Aunt Mary carried a calm, wise presence that made you feel truly seen.
Just weeks before her passing, I spent four sacred days by Aunt Mary’s side—sharing quiet moments, laughter, and stories. Those last days remain a gift I hold close.
Their absence leaves my mother as the last living sibling—an entire generation nearly gone. This loss underscored how grief, legacy, and generational healing deepen when we normalize conversations about loss, love, and preparation.
For readers exploring inherited family wounds, You Swore You’d Never Be Like Your Parents discusses how parental patterns unconsciously repeat—and the first steps toward healing them.
LEFT: Aunt Mary, my mother Janaf and Uncle Teddy.
RIGHT: Aunt Mary and Uncle Teddy.
The Passing of a Generation and the Weight of Legacy
As this summer unfolded, I began to feel the weight of an entire generation shifting.
With my mother now the last of nine siblings, I witnessed not just the loss of beloved family members, but the reality that an era of our family’s story is nearing its close.
For decades, my mother spoke with her brothers and sisters multiple times a week, bridging the miles between coasts. Now, that tether has been cut.
Her strong faith reminds her that when God calls, it is your time. But even faith cannot erase the loneliness of being the last one left. Watching her grieve stirred deep reflection in me about ancestral healing, family patterns, and the sacred responsibility of breaking generational cycles.
Insights from The Cycle Ends With You resonate deeply here, offering strategies for reframing family stories and choosing new patterns for future generations.
Honoring a Generation: The Nine Siblings
Each sibling left a distinct mark, contributing to a legacy of resilience, love, and belonging.
The Nine Siblings (Oldest to Youngest)
Laila – Peaceful and grounding.
Charlie – Musician and health advocate, deeply connected to his homeland, Palestine.
Mary – Wise, nurturing, steady.
Janaf (my mom) – Loving, playful, generous.
Wadia – Joyful, kind, and giving.
Teddy – Playful and hard-working.
Kareemeh – Confident, expressive, and fun—the “cool aunt.”
Akram – Brilliant, gone too soon at 29, leaving a budding legacy at Johns Hopkins and NASA.
Amal – Carefree, joyful, and full of affection.
Two other siblings passed in infancy, yet remain part of our sacred family history.
Together, my aunts and uncles formed a web of love, protection, and resilience. They modeled what it looks like to show up for each other, stay connected across distance, and carry love forward into the next generation.
The essay collection Nine Brilliant Student Essays on Honoring Your Roots illustrates how reflecting on heritage, sacrifice, and family dynamics can illuminate paths to healing and transformation.
Four Core Reflections on Family Patterns and Healing
1. Honoring Family and Generational Patterns
The loss of my aunts and uncles illuminated how deeply generational trauma and resilience weave through families. Each generation passes down stories, strengths, and sometimes wounds.
Reflection for You: What family or ancestral patterns do you notice repeating in your life?
Consider listening to my podcast episode Un-Patterning the Patterns: A Breakdown for insights and tools on recognizing and breaking generational cycles.
2. The Influence of Ancestral Healing on Parental Relationships
Watching my mother grieve reminded me how lineage healing shapes parental relationships and mother-daughter dynamics. What one generation models—grief, love, faith, or silence—becomes the template for the next.
Reflection for You: How have your parents, aunts, or uncles shaped the way you give and receive love?
My own podcast episode, Healing the Mother-Daughter Wound, shares tools for overcoming mother-daughter wounds and deepening women’s emotional healing.
Jim Jacobs’ article Honoring Our Heritage and Sacrifice emphasizes honoring ancestral sacrifices—a cornerstone of ancestral healing for women.
3. Finding Healing Through Gratitude and Reflection
Grieving Aunt Mary and Uncle Teddy deepened my appreciation for my lineage’s traditions and sacrifices. Reflection opens space for inner child healing, self-discovery, and emotional release.
Reflection for You: What gifts from your family legacy are you most grateful for?
4. Carrying Forward Love and Legacy
Even in loss, love continues. Choosing which family patterns to release and which legacies to carry forward is essential to breaking generational cycles in parenting.
Reflection for You: Which family stories or mother-daughter relationships are you ready to transform?
Key Actions to Carry Forward Legacy:
Release family patterns that no longer serve you.
Carry forward love, resilience, and belonging.
Transform ancestral wounds into wisdom and growth.
Me with Aunt Mary during my college years.
Aunt Mary’s Story: Rooted in Palestine, Raised on Love
To honor Aunt Mary, I also want to share her voice in her own words. In the two podcast episodes below, she spoke about her childhood in Ramallah, Palestine—the food they grew, the way they were raised, and how love sustained their family through hardship.
My mother and all nine of her siblings were born and raised in Ramallah before migrating to the United States in the 1940s and 1950s, some as early as age 14. That journey, from village life to a new country, carried both opportunity, hardship, and unspoken loss, shaping the legacy we still feel today.
🎧 Listen to her stories here:
Paradise in Palestine with Auntie Mary - sharing food, love, and family traditions from her childhood in Ramallah.
We Were Raised on Love with Auntie Mary - including the painful truth of my mother’s arranged marriage at just 17 years old.
These rich conversations highlight how cultural identity, food, and storytelling are not just memories—they are pathways to healing, ancestral connection, and resilience.
In the second interview, Aunt Mary also shares painful truths about the cultural obligations her sisters faced—including my mother’s forced arranged marriage. This marriage set her life on a path she never would have chosen, aside from the deep love she carried for her five children, who remain her greatest joy.
Hearing these stories gave me a deeper understanding of my mother’s suffering, the invisible weight she bore, and how her own inherited trauma inevitably shaped my experience as her daughter. This is where generational trauma becomes so clear—how one woman’s pain, choices made for her, and the silencing of her own desires ripple forward into the next generation.
How to Heal Generational Trauma as a Woman
Healing is not just about the past—it’s about rewriting the future. For women, this often begins with:
Healing the mother wound through self-discovery
Breaking generational cycles in parenting
Exploring ancestral healing and cultural patterns
Overcoming mother-daughter wounds with compassion
Committing to women’s emotional healing through reflection, coaching, and support
When we heal, we transform the legacy we pass on to the next generation.
Q&A: Healing Beyond What Happened to You
Q: How do you begin to heal generational trauma as a woman?
A: Healing begins with awareness and compassion. Many women carry invisible weights from childhood—patterns shaped by parents or grandparents. Recognizing these inherited wounds is the first step to choosing a new way forward.
Let go of judgment or guilt for family patterns you inherited
Seek support from a trauma-informed coach or therapist to explore your past through practices like inner child healing, reparenting, building healthy boundaries, and self-compassion. These tools can help you
My son Hunter, Aunt Mary and me.
Closing Reflection
Grief is never only about loss—it’s also about legacy. Each passing reminds us that family patterns, ancestral stories, and generational ties are invitations to grow, heal, and choose intentionally what we carry forward.
Your Turn: Which family patterns have shaped your life? Which legacies are you ready to embrace—or transform?
Reflecting on these questions is the first step toward healing generational trauma, breaking cycles, and nurturing the relationships that matter most.
Ready to Begin Your Healing Journey?
If you are navigating─ or simply curious about─ generational trauma, mother wounds, or the passing of a generation in your family and its legacy, book a free Clarity Call and let’s talk. Every journey toward self-discovery, emotional healing, and breaking generational cycles begins with a single step—and that step can start today.
During Our Call Together:
Explore your family patterns and generational dynamics
Map your first steps toward self-discovery, emotional healing, and carrying forward a legacy you’re proud of
You’ll leave with clarity, a lighter heart, and actionable guidance to transform your family patterns and embrace the life you want.
Stay Connected and Inspired
Subscribe to my newsletter to receive insights, tools, and reflections on healing mother wounds, breaking generational cycles, and nurturing your emotional well-being.
The first step toward the life you want is just one click away.
Heidi Carlson
Heidi Carlson Coaching
Generational Trauma & Mother Wound Coach
heidi@heidicarlsoncoaching.com
Follow me: LinkedIn, Instagram & Facebook